(121-02-16) Hot, Wet Advice
Hot, Wet Advice
Summary: Lord Pansy seeks advice from an unlikely source.
Date: Date of play (16/Feb/2014)
Related: Lord Pansy Hires the Pillowcase: http://gobmush.wikidot.com/log:121-02-16-lord-pansy-hires-the-pillowcase

Men's Pools - Lysene Baths

This is a large room elaborately decorated with mosaics of glazed tiles. They cover the floors and the walls. They depict flowers, mostly sea-thrift in shades of pink, and twining sea-dragons of green and blue and gold. Light is allowed in through glass blocks in the ceiling, making the space seem quite airy.

There are large cubbies here along one wall, for patrons to leave their clothes and possessions, and an attendant to keep an eye on these things.

Three large pools are set into the floor. The one nearest the wall that bisects the building through the center is positioned near a furnace, and the water is kept almost scaldingly hot. It has a mermaid mosaic at its bottom. The second is tepid, with design of mermaids and mermen. It's a rather suggestive, but not overt, image. The third is unheated, large enough and deep enough to swim in, and is embellished with more sea-dragons and mermaids, chasing one another. The water is kept pristinely clean, run in from one of the canals and either heated in the furnace or not. When it gets sullied, attendants open an enameled water-gate to let it pour out through a little runnel to fill the Penny Pool on the other side of the room's front wall.

If one really wishes for heat, there's a small room that shares a wall with the furnace. It has a wooden bench within, and serves as a dry sauna.

Garvin has already had his dip in the hot pool, and now he's soaking in the warm one, back against the side and elbows on the lip, just relaxing and letting the tension flow out of his body. The page had coins to pay Eonn's way in, then hurries to join Lord Tyrell's men in the lobby.

Eonn looks a little bemused by all this. He stands, still fully clothed, near the door.

There's a goblet nearby, and Garvin reaches for it without opening his eyes, taking a long swallow.

Eonn steps over toward the warm pool. He wears those soft-soled boots and is nearly silent. After a pause he says, "My Lord."

Garvin jumps a bit, his feet kicking underwater. "Eonn! You startled me. Leave your things with my page and take a dip in the hot pool, then join me here. There are … things I need to talk about, and I have no one else to talk to but you."

Eonn sighs, looks to the hot pool, then says, "Why not join me, then, my lord," before turning his back and walking over to the cubbies where he can leave his things.

Garvin takes another sip, turning in the pool to watch Eonn. He's not even going to pretend he's not watching the man undress. "I've already had my dip in the hot pool. It's too hot, if you ask me."

Eonn doesn't seem to care if Garvin watches him undress. He doesn't dawdle over it, though. Naked, he walks back to the warm pool and steps in, skipping the heat for now. "So, my lord," he says. "What is it that troubles you?"

Garvin wets his lips, eyes following Eonn's nudity until he's in the water. "My family, what else?" he says, signaling for the attendant to bring a goblet of wine for Eonn, as well as to refill his own. "I hired Kai as master-at- arms, to train all the sellswords Laurent's been hiring. You saw him the other day fighting Derrioth, you know he's good. I've firsthand knowledge myself." He lifts his left shoulder, showing off the ugly scar on his upper arm. "Laurent's furious, but I can handle my Thorn. It's his Northern bride I'm worried about."

Eonn looks at the scar, raises his eyebrows, and says nothing. He takes the wine goblet and has a swallow, settling into the water.

Garvin swallows again, fixing his eyes on Eonn. "She's threatened to write to my lord father with the most scandalous tales which threaten not only my name, but the entire Tyrell House. Laurent is too angry with me, not to mention enamored of her, to prevent her from making such a grave mistake. I have no authority over her. What should I do? What would you do?"

Eonn laughs dryly. "My lord, I would not hire Kai, considering your history with him. And were I you, and had a knight at arms to serve as my 'thorn' I would let him do it." He leans back in the water and closes his eyes.

Garvin gives his eyes a little roll. "Ser Thorn is too busy training himself and mooning over his Northern flower. You wouldn't believe the way he lets her talk to me. It's beyond insolent, it's absolutely insulting. He's captain of the guard, he has other duties than training each and every sellsword in our hire. Do you think I shouldn't trust Kai? What's the basis for this belief?"

"You had him pilloried?" says Eonn, simply.

Garvin shrugs a bit, sipping again. "And he had me pilloried, in his own way. The matter's behind us now. You think he's only swearing loyalty so he can get close enough to kill me? He's had three chances already, and he's passed them by each time."

"I doubt it," says Eonn, "But what does it matter? My Lord, come, seriously, you hire a man to train the guard, and your captain of the guard hates him? You actually have a /question/ about what you ought to do about this?"

"My captain of the guard hates everyone," Garvin says. "But the question isn't what I should do with Kai, but what I should do about Lady Angharad. If she writes to my lord father with her spiteful, evil tale…If I were a different man, I'd have her pilloried for the insult."

"Give him a week's wages and send him on his way," says Eonn, not opening his eyes. His face is blank.

Garvin frowns, drinking again. "That won't solve the whole problem. In fact, it'll only lend credence to her accusations. It will look like I let her intimidate me into bending to her will. How can I allow that?"

"My lord, you don't want my advice," says Eonn, drinking more.

Garvin lets out an exasperated sound. "If I didn't want your advice, I wouldn't have asked you to meet me here in the whore's bath house."

"If you wanted my advice," says Eonn, stretching out to float a bit, so that he gets the back of his head in the water and gives rather a view of the front of his body, "You'd listen to it. Your captain of the guard will never be happy with you doing his job for him, and unwisely at that. And your lady cousins and sisters will never be happy with you hiring on men who cannot be said to have anything whatever to recommend them to you, or the ladies, as trustworthy. It is better to let people think that you were intimidated by an intelligent woman than to have them know that you are an obdurate fool."

Garvin sucks in his breath, gaze sliding along Eonn's nudity. "Very well, he's fired. Everyone will feel safe again, and Laurent will be happy. Now what do I do about that damnable banner's banner's daughter?"

"Nothing," says Eonn, floating there. "Pretend it was your idea all along, and that she said nothing. It is what the mighty do."

Garvin wets his lips again, his breathing growing a bit faster. "And her letter to my lord father?"

"What did your father say?" asks Eonn, unhurriedly. He breathes the warm damp air slowly.

Garvin shakes his head. "She only made the threat tonight. If she's followed through, the letter's not arrived yet. I feel I should do something pre-emptive."

Eonn shrugs a little, water flowing over his scarred shoulders. "Do so, then," he says. "I do not know what your father is like. Will be believe her, if he comes to find that Kai is gone?"

Garvin's eyes go distant for a long moment. "He doesn't want to have to acknowledge the truth of me," he says softly. "And he certainly doesn't want to be forced into such an acknowledgement by some up jumped Northern goatherd's daughter. I think if I write to him and say that I've sent Kai on his way, to avoid even the hint of scandal, he will be more inclined to believe me. He may even be inclined to use this as an excuse to break off the betrothal and send her back to her goats and wolves and whatever else they have on the northern shore of the Bite."

"I see," says Eonn, is eyes still closed. "And is that what you wish for?" He sounds a little sad.

Garvin's eyes remain unfocused as he tries to concentrate. "I want Laurent to be happy. I love him like a brother. But to be saddled with such a shrewish wife…He'll bend to her will too easily, and she'll rule over him like a little tyrant. It's not right. It's unnatural. My cousin deserves a wife who loves and adores him, not some harpy who'll make him miserable."

The sellsword doesn't look. He runs a hand down is chest and belly, absently, and says, "You said the man was enamored of her."

Garvin's eyes suddenly snap back into focus, following that hand, and a tiny whimper escapes him. But he's wearing his Lord Pants right now, metaphorically at least. "Of course, he is. She's pretty and she flatters him. I'll be honest, Laurent isn't what women normally call attractive. She says sweet words to him and bats her eyes, and he follows her like a puppy. Even when he sees the way she behaves, the things she says, he's too lovesick to really see it. But that won't last long. It certainly didn't for me."

"What do you mean by that?" asks Eonn, still drifting a bit in the big pool of warm-hot water.

Garvin snorts. "You know who I mean. He's shown me his true colors, the lout. I cannot believe I allowed myself to be taken in by his…whatever it was of his that had me taken in."

"I don't think you ought to compare the Lady Locke to that revolting brute," says Eonn. "That is disgraceful. I think you do her a disservice. And your cousin."

Garvin cocks a brow, head tipping just a little to one side. "Revolting brute? Why Eonn, I had no idea he'd used you as well. I rather thought you were smarter than me."

Eonn opens his eyes and looks at Garvin, rather crossly. "He has not. I don't need to get fucked by that dog to know he's a disgusting sack of shit and meanness. What the hell is wrong with you?"

Garvin openly gapes at Eonn then, looking utterly shocked. "For the love of the Seven, Eonn. If you felt this way about Ser Griffyth, why did you let me go on with him? I thought you were my friend?"

"Because you wanted to," says Eonn. "Come, what, you think you would have just stopped because I told you I dislike the man?"

"If you'd told me why!" Garvin says, suddenly raising his voice. "All right, I admit I was pretty enamored myself, and I probably wouldn't have believed you…at first. But you could have planted the seed, so maybe my eyes would have opened sooner. I wasn't even aware you knew him that well."

"I don't," says Eonn. "The first time I laid eyes on him he burst into your room at the inn and dragged you off to his. I'd have stopped him if you'd not seemed pleased at the idea, but you are a grown man, and the fact that I would stick my sword in his belly before I'd stand to be treated as he treated you then, or later, doesn't make it my business to do anything about it."

Garvin pouts out his lower lip, sinking into the pool up to his chin (after leaving the goblet on the side again). "We are friends, you and I, aren't we?"

"I am smallborn," says Eonn, settling back into the water and closing his eyes again. He says it as if that is answer enough.

Garvin takes this the wrong way. "Oh, so you're too good to be friends with someone so highborn, is what you're saying?" he asks, voice dripping with bitterness.

Eonn opens his eyes again, but he doesn't sit up. He says, "I've noticed, recently, that I am so low that the highborn, indeed those I know better than you and have loved well and loyally, would prefer a sack of evil shit and meanness with a title, to me."

Garvin opens his mouth to say something, then slowly closes it again, as his brows draw together. He thinks, and it's rather obvious he's trying to work it all out in his head. Finally, he comes to the conclusion: "Lady Mormont is the woman Ser Griffyth is trying to marry? Why in the seven hells would she…? Is she mad? He's the second so of a minor banner house, and she's the Lady of Bear Island. Are all the Northern women so mad? She's marrying down, not up!"

"Yes," says Eonn, his voice tight in his throat. He closes his eyes again, looking pained for a moment until his face smooths to expressionlessness again.

Garvin's expression slowly morphs from surprise to fury, his upper lip curling in a snarl. "That son of a whore! To think I let him…do things to me, and all the while he was plotting and scheming and seducing the She-Bear. Eonn, you mustn't blame her. You've seen how he is, how he uses his tricks and charms to get what he wants. He's bewitched her, that's what he's done."

"He's not charming," says Eonn. "He just has a house in the south, and Bear Island is poor, and noble ladies, even she-bears, are not supposed to care for sellswords. And so they don't." His voice is flat now. He's gone oddly pale, in spite of the warm water.

"You deserve better, Eonn," Garvin says. "And I don't care what anyone says, I do care about you."

"Perhaps," says Eonn sadly. "She does, too. It just does not, exactly, matter."

Garvin's eyes go distant again. "It matters," he says, voice sounding a little distant as well. "He told me once he already has two bastards, and he's never loved any of the women he's bedded. I can't imagine marriage would make him any more faithful. Lady Mormont will need you more than ever, if she marries that ass. She'll need someone who'll love her."

"She might," says Eonn. "And I suppose that is." He laughs a little bark of humorless laughter. "The difference."

Garvin tips his head again, looking closely at Eonn. "The difference?"

"The difference being that she is Lady of Bear Island and believes, perhaps quite rightly, that she can expect me to love her and see to her need, while giving all the blessings of her own love to another," says Eonn.

Garvin snorts again, rolling his eyes. "Are you saying you believe her to be as naive as I am, to actually love that Rainhouse whoreson?"

"I doubt it," says Eonn. "She wants an alliance with a Southeron house."

Garvin gives a small shrug of one shoulder. "Then what does it matter? She doesn't love him, she loves you. Marriages are never about love anyway."

"She does not let me touch her now," says Eonn, lowering his voice to a murmur.
Gashlycrumb pages: Can you pop that in a +request instead?

Garvin frowns again, brow furrowing. "Why?" he asks, voice low as well. "Does she fear the deceitful, whoring Wylde will break off the betrothal if he finds out?"

"I don't know," says Eonn, angrily. He's still speaking quietly, but it's not a murmur now. "Probably she wants trueborn children!"

Garvin shudders hard, despite the warmth of the water. "I'd rather take a dolphin to bed," he mutters darkly. "Fuck trueborn children. You want to get even with Ser Griffyth? Stick a set of horns on him. See to it that it's your daughter who next rules Bear Island."

"She won't let me!" replies the man, sharply and miserably.

Garvin waves a hand above the water. "Now, perhaps, but she will." He pauses a moment, then his eyes light. "Does she know that he's been in my bed?"

"Yes," says Eonn, quieting again. He sighs heavily.

Garvin frowns again, his eyes growing dark. "He told her, did he? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. What does surprise me is that, knowing this, she still saves herself for him. What is she thinking?"

"She is thinking," says Eonn sadly, "That it doesn't matter who he is or what he does; he has a name."

"And you have a heart," Garvin says, standing upright in the pool and sitting on the edge, "which is more important than any name he might have. Give her some time, Eonn, and she'll come to the same conclusion." His page hurries over with a towel, and Garvin climbs to his feet, taking it. "I wish I could advise you as well as you've advised me tonight. Unfortunately, I know less about women than I do about men. What I do know is that it's too late to be riding all he way out to Garden Isle tonight, so I'm going to take a room at the Quill & Tankard." He pauses, looking again upon Eonn's nude form. "It's a pity we both have to sleep alone tonight, while our true loves are in each other's arms."

"That man is not your true love," says Eonn, sitting up in the pool and starting to rise from it as well. "Don't pretend he ever loved you."

Garvin wraps the towel around his waist, to hide the swelling that's starting. "All right, your true love and my ass-plunderer," he says in a very low voice, watching Eonn still. "There'll be plenty of wine at the tavern, and someone who cares for you and won't refuse you. Someone who wants to be with you tonight."

"I don't know if there is such a thing as a true love," says Eonn, tiredly. He shakes his head, to get the water out of his hair. like a dog. He shakes the rest of himself, too, afterwards. The man is not used to the idea of towels.

Garvin's page, who ran up with a second towel, backs up a few steps in surprise, as he's sprayed with water. Garvin just chuckles and shakes his head. "Forget about true love tonight," he says, taking the towel and stepping closer. "I've given up on it entirely." He presses the towel against Kai's tummy and holds it there until the man takes it. "Tonight, just for tonight, think only of true lust."

Eonn takes the towel. He doesn't wrap it around himself, just starts to rub himself down. "Thank you, my lord," he says. "And forgive me, but. Not tonight."

Garvin wets his lips, and for a moment, he looks like he might try to go for a kiss. But instead, he steps back again, nodding his head. "I understand. A scrawny pansy is a poor substitute for the She-Bear who holds your heart. Thank you again, Kai. You've helped me see things more clearly."

"That is not my reason," says Eonn sadly. "And that is not my name." A little smile, wan. He goes to reclaim his clothes from the cubby.

"That is not my reason," says Eonn sadly. He goes to reclaim his clothes from the cubby.

Garvin turns to follow Eonn with his eyes, licking at his lower lip again and focusing on the man's bare bottom. His page fidgets a bit, and Garvin gives him a quick scowl, then turns again to let the page start toweling him off. Rich people don't towel themselves, after all!

Eonn dresses. His clothes are the same as before. He must have only one set. No smallclothes. The roughspun trousers are worn thin over his ass, in fact.

Garvin's page runs out to find Nyran in the lobby, and soon the squire is there to help Garvin into his clothes. Which aren't roughspun or threadbare, and which take a lot of work to get into.

Eonn's armor is maybe a little complicated, but he seems to have no trouble donning it himself. Buckles. When he's finished, he looks to Garvin. "My Lord."

Garvin's doublet is being laced by then, and the page is working a pointy-toed shoe onto his foot. Still, Garvin manages a smile and a nod. "Good evening, Eonn of the Rills."

Eonn nods in reply, steps backwards, and then turns to slip out.

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